1. How old are you?
I have no concept of time.
2. How do you feel about squirrels?
I’m afraid of them unless they are in stuffed form.
3. Do you like kids?
Yes, they have an excellent supply of sticky stuff on their
hands and face.
4. Why do you like taking walks?
So I can check my pee-mail and get proper adoration
from my fans.
5. Where is your favorite place to poop in the backyard?
I like pooping on my people’s rosemary bush and mint
plants. I only poop on the finest culinary herbs. When
I come back to the house smelling better than when I
left, my people notice.
6. One of your people is a vegan/vegetarian. How has
that changed you?
I stick with my person who is a meat-eater. He can be
messy and food sometimes drops. He also lets me lick
the grill drippings on the patio.
7. What is your favorite food?
Whatever you are eating.
8. What is the most important thing in your life?
No, it’s food.
No, my people.
Wait, food. No comment, next question.
9. How do you feel about your sister, BBQ the cat?
She doesn’t listen to me at all. When she is getting too
much attention from my people, I give her the evil eye,
but she doesn’t move. So I come over and sit on her
10. In one word, how would you describe yourself?